HOW TO SET GOALS IN RELATION TO MENTAL WELLNESS

I am being me, the world will adjust!

The days we are living in right now there are too many pressures that come with people’s expectations set to us for no apparent reason. As though that is no enough, there is inclination to want to impress when we step out, we want to show up and make a lasting impression.

Without going further, allow me to remind you that you will never be able to impress everyone. There will always be that one person who doesn’t like you for no reason at all.

Besides, most of the times the goals we set could be so much influenced by other people hence making us live with unnecessary pressures because we cannot keep up. When you set standards you cannot maintain or goals too hard to maintain, this is when one overtaxes their strengths and not only that but also stress levels start going up.

We could look at one of the issues most people are struggling with, me included. Weight loss! We could start with, why do you want to lose weight? Because of the stigma associated with being a plus size, because people look at you and see a foodie, a junkie; because you saw a beautiful dress on the display and on going to ask for it someone out rightly tells you that those types of dresses, are only for small sizes.

With this kind of pressure, you may go enroll yourself into a gym 2 hours 6 days a week which is not sustainable and so soon you will be too exhausted and end up quitting. The 3kgs you will have shed will soon creep back and they will come back as 5kgs. This will come with frustration, fatigue; you will start looking at yourself as a failure.

To my perfectionist friends, set realistic goals. Avoid setting your goals with the attitude of, I must achieve this and this.  Being a perfectionist can impact negatively on you because most of the times as you set the goals, you are driven by the desire to be loved and admired; as a child, you set your goals with the urge to please your parents. You end up being so critical of yourself, you worry too much.

Kindly slow down. Celebrate you small achievements. Celebrate every small step towards your intended goal. Celebrate the process and the journey, if it is weight loss, you may not lose a kg but you may lose a few inches off your waist line. Set goals in a way that you can measure progress. Remember in mathematics, the teacher doesn’t look at the answer, the final answer could be wrong but you will get a mark for getting the formula right, a mark or two for getting the steps right.

As a student, set yourself small steps of change. You had a C- work for a C, then a C+ a step at a time. If you aim for A- and miss it three, four times, it will crash you, stress levels will start mounting up slowly and when some of us can’t handle failure, depression kicks in, others ends up committing suicide.

Girl, slow down and smell the roses.

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May the shalom of God be with you!!

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