Is serving in church a sacrifice you do or is it a privilege? During the dating period for believers, it’s advisable that you do it in public. Meet up in public places; if possible, go out as a group or probably with other couples who are dating too, or even some young married couples who are your friends. For me this is so key, specifically because you are able to know how your girl/guy carries himself out in public or among your friends.
My IT guy and I had just the very perfect setup while dating. There are moments that have never skipped my mind almost twenty years down the line. Yeah you heard it right, I know you can’t wait. This juicy tidbit of info, pwaaaah… Anyway, our church used to hold annual conferences every September and this was one of those Septembers, we were yearning, the hustle and bustle that entailed preparations for this big occasion. The church is set. We were hosting a man of God from Tanzania. Apostle Dunstan Maboya, A mighty man of God, well loved by so many, hence there was an over flow of attendance.
My guy being a tech guy, was shooting videos throughout the sessions and assisting with sound. I am yet to see that kind of craving for the word and the move of God. The meetings had been planned in a way that we would have like four sessions with a tea break, lunch break and a few other breaks in between. Surprisingly enough people would refuse to go for breaks; the man of God would plead with the congregants. “Go for lunch, go for break” but these pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears. Actually the evening meetings that were planned to go latest to 9 pm, would extend all the way into the early hours of the next day and everyone would still be full of energy, only when the man of God flat out decided that the session had to come to an end would the congregants leave and remember all this time there are people standing outside along the corridors and outside the windows because we couldn’t get enough space for more seats. Where am I headed with all this?
My guy is shooting all these sessions without breaks. The few hours he would have past midnight after the meetings, were not for rest but to go copy the videos into computers and burn CDS for the people during the meetings the following day. I remember around the fifth day; it had rained heavily. Everyone was so exhausted, the logistics and the up and downs had taken a toll on us. Have you heard the spirit is willing but the bodies were so worn out? Guess what happened, my guy slipped and fell in a trench on his way home. Did you know you can fall asleep in a trench full of water and you are only intoxicated with fatigue? Yeah! Everyone is calling him, because he isn’t home, all of us are in panic. Long story short, in the morning, the white jeans is now brown ;-). By the way we didn’t serve for allowances. We were not on a pay roll.
We went for so many missions together, but there’s another instance that stood out then. I wouldn’t describe what it made me feel then, at least not in writing. Unfortunately, I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Probably it hurt because I was in love, giddily so. So, we go for a weekend challenge in one of our girls’ secondary school. The school was located around six kilometers off the tarmac and the road leading to school is a weather road, the kind that “sende” worked well without you intending to engage in such sport.
We had such a powerful Saturday night meeting but unfortunately our amplifier blew up, a with a haphazard and erratically bellowing smoke the amplifier ended its service. How could we hold a Sunday service without good public address system considering Sunday would be the climax? You know there is something about good sound, which just puts you in the mood, a little waltz and dance here and there. So, we are done with our late supper and poof, an announcement comes from our youth pastor, who was in charge of the missions, the kind that does not allow airing of objections or opinion. This is the kind of announcement that would surely make sure that I didn’t sleep well that night. Actually, the one who was being addressed didn’t feel anything, but I felt really hurt. The girl was in love! ‘Tomorrow morning, So and so will be leaving early so as to get to main church before the service starts there and bring an amplifier and be back in good time for us to start the service here.
It’s not the responsibility given that hurt me. I am not unfair; I didn’t expect the pastor would leave us to go bring the amplifier. You remember the distance from the school to the tarmac? This guy was to walk all the way. As though that’s not enough, he would walk back with the amplifier on the shoulder, a very muddy stretch, with threats of rainfall any time not mentioning “Sende” a sport that could end up in a tangle for dear life. This stuck with me for such a long time.
You said he got born again to win me? I don’t think so. These earned this guy all the bonga points, or are they loyalty points that he needed to have me for a wife. Do you know what these experiences made me feel? This guy loved God, this guy was submissive enough, and it made me think he didn’t get born again for me. His passion, girl was I mesmerized! Hulala! This though wasn’t all that won my heart. This guy is a poet. I love poetry, I love words said from a heart that is in love. “Mi Amor” stuff.
It is in the cool Mountain View slopes of Chogoria, the hens and their chicks are squabbling over an earthworm, the dogs are here and there barking and making a spectacle even as the children chase them up and about. The young man is just bored, sitting with a bowl of Githeri, wondering at just how green the Githeri looks, mmh seems the avocado that has been well mashed into the Githeri is giving the food a lavish green look… yummy. Mellow rhythms with Roland Karu in the background; just seem to resonate well with the young man. Seems everything is slow. Flash backward. The young man was freshly out of Nairobi due to hunger. A story for another day. He was roughed up by life and had come home to rebuild and recollect. Little did the young man know, is life in just a few years would change into a really blessed one.
Fast forward, the young man is into computer repair and is of firm believe, that a customer base that is satisfied is enough advertisement. Because of this, one customer led to the other and then boom! Here I am face to face with a lady I had admired for a long while. A lady of great Nyadhi as I was soon to know. She was greatly feared among us who were of the opposite sex and of course worldly in our ways.
Don’t Mistake me I was a church boy before I got wayward. I have always been interested in church, I remember in one of my foolish declarations of love saying if you and I are separated I will become a pastor. God forgive my foolishness those days. All in the name of infatuation. We always lived for the emotion, that feverish feeling that would leave one lightheaded and making impossible claims. I will swim in a crocodile infested river for you… kind of declarations. Anyways, so her computer is misbehaving. And as she explains what the problem is, I can’t help but marvel at the eloquence of speech and the confidence exuding from this short lady and one that had managed to inspire awe among my peers.
My dream and finally come true, I always had wanted to hear her speak and was curious about what made her so feared. As we talked, I realized that she was the friendliest person I have ever met and blundering in my train of thought I simply blurted it out. Tell me “Why are you so greatly feared?” Immediately I asked I realized just how foolish I sounded. She has that easy laugh that was infectious in its wake, COVID19 of the day I would say. She says to me one of the most interesting statement of the day for me “How can day and night mix” and for some reason it seemed to explain everything to me.
At that time, I had a hunger for reading and I remember one day, she asked me, since you are a computer guy and know the GIGO and FIFO rule, how does that apply to what you read? I was stunned. I loved to read but never really thought about it much on how what I read impacted my life. For those of us not familiar with the terminologies of GIGO and FIFO they mean Garbage In, Garbage Out and First in First Out respectively. She taught me many things in those days. I enjoyed her company and especially when we discussed on issues with her great friend Karimi.
I have always enjoyed a good debate and sometimes that would put me in serious trouble with the two. That 😉 is a story for another day. Fast forward, The Ex is now wondering what we are doing together and making a show of it, I am actually flattered and annoyed at the same time. Dad always used to say, it takes two to argue and as the English say to tangle. I am now looking deeply into my life. Ooo, the boy got born again in the process of debates and discussions. He is in this mess after embracing God. The situation is now leaving a bitter feeling in the mouth. He expected to be welcomed in the fold as part of a big Christian family. Serious lessons were being taught by people He looked up to.
Back to present, the boy is now looking deeply to analyze why He is raising eyebrows, In the process of analyzing, a stunning revelation comes to light. The young man is in love. This only seems to add to the weight of the accusations raised. Though not guilty, in the eyes of the young man that love seemed to render weight to them. I have realized since then that how you feel is not the problem but what you do with what you feel. Some young men today will want to quench and sate those feelings, but am reminded in the face of weakness, the bible says let the weak say I am strong.
After setting a meeting date with myself and I, minutes were drawn and a conclusion made. Declare your feelings, and whether or not your proposal is accepted move on and by the grace of God become everything you’re expected to be. That said, the young man went ahead and made a proposal, and afraid that the proposal would be declined, the intestines seemed to be warped in a painful knot. it’s an evening, closing up the business and we are heading home. He stops the girl mid step and just pops the statement and question that has many holding their breath for an answer at least once in their lifetimes… “I love you and would you be my girlfriend in a relationship that will lead to marriage?”
I had chosen my words carefully and felt confident that I was ready to go the whole mile. The answer I got shocked me and I almost fell in disbelief, I guess I was pretty confident that the feelings were mutual. I guess a No was not the answer I was expecting; I was reeling and staggering in the spirit. I couldn’t speak for a while. I asked why not after a while. She gave me her reasons and they felt valid and justified even though unfair. The man in me felt bested and I knew she could see it in my face. I tried to be a gentleman about by saying “It is well”. It was disconcerting and a quiet disquiet overcame me. Out of the blues I tell her well, I think I need to go back to school. If you need me call me.
I left and went back to college, in college I would keep looking at my phone, wishing she would call and when she did, I would be left angry that she called. I couldn’t understand myself. After a few months in school, I call and apologize and let her know that I had finally come to terms with her decision and would try to be a good friend and brother even if I died in the effort. I knew it would be uphill for me since I had completely lost my heart to her, I was willing to settle for a friend, and knew I would be happy only when She was. Moreover, I knew that if I did something to hurt her, it would hurt me and hurt many times over. I realized just how much so, after she said No. For the first semester all we did is talk about school, church, the business and our friends. The issue that had led to me being in school was never discussed.
One day I am doing my morning class and she calls. I excused myself. Her calls always seemed to brighten my world and when she didn’t call, I felt gloomy and alone. So, she calls and out I go to answer the call in the middle of a lesson. On answering only two words ring and vibrate in my ears, “I accept” Can I dare hope against hope? Am confused and elated at the same, I ask what do you mean? She says I love you too and I accept your proposal. Instead of going back to class I go out of the school gate and to the Roysambu stage and board a Meru bound matatu. The mart seemed to travel at a tortoise speed. At last, in the late afternoon I get to Chogoria, sweet home. I don’t go home but straight to her house and there I decree my never unending love…. But that is my story, this is my counsel: –
– Don’t go looking for poets; it’s not enough to make a husband.
– If your mate loves God more than he/she loves you, even in time of crisis he/she will always have a good point of reference.
– It’s good if you can do together. My IT guy will not go jogging with me and I have made peace with that, but we can write and many other stuffs too.