Category Archives: Inspirational

FEAR AND THE WAY OUT

Fear

Fear is a human emotion that is triggered by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism that signals our bodies to respond to danger with a fight or flight response. As such it is an essential part of keeping us safe.

In the days we are living in today we are surround by too many chaos, pandemics of all types political, medical, crumbling economics, and inflation all over, a lot of instabilities. Due to this people live in fear and panic, fear of the unknown, fear of failure. The truth is whether the threats we feel are real or perceived, they have a way of affecting our health physically or mentally.

From our definition we said that fear is an essential part of keeping us safe since it signals our bodies to respond to threats. How about when fear is prolonged? How about when all you see around you is danger or failure? Are you this person who when travelling all you are thinking of is possible road accidents? You are in the ocean swimming and all you are thinking of is drowning, storms, sharks? This kind of fear will affect your performance, if you fear failure you keep procrastinating because you would rather not do anything than do it and then it flops.

Jesus said in the book of John 10: “…I have come that they may have life, and have it in abundance.”  How will you enjoy the abundance of life that Jesus brought to us if all you see is danger and failure?  It is okay to feel fearful once in a while, but you can’t afford to live enslaved by fear and worry. This will bring anxiety, panic attacks.

Years back in my youth I could wake up in the wee hours of the night and go to church for prayers alone. I never thought I would ever fear being out in the dark. Some years later I had an encounter that almost crippled me to an extent of not being able to go out even during the day. This fateful evening at around 7pm I was walking home and I was mugged. My life changed drastically. I remember I would get out of the house probably going to work, and if I heard anybody walking behind me I would imagine I am being followed and I would stop so that whoever was behind me would pass. How sustainable is that? I was living in a town, there would always be a person walking behind me. I had to seek for help.

It is understandable that due to issues we have gone through in life, if we come across familiar scenarios, we may get those experiences, but this moment I am a bearer of good news. Our God cares for us, he anticipates our needs.

In the book of Isaiah 43:1-2 says: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you’ When you walk through the waters; I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep you over.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze.

God new these fearful moments will come, that’s why he is saying, when you walk through the waters or fire. He is not saying if you walk. No wonder the statements ‘fear not’ appears 365 times in our bible to remind us every day that God is with us.

Kindly stick with me so I can show you some ways of dealing with these anxiety and fearful moments.

Meditation

Meditation is when you focus your mind for a period of time, in silence or vocalizing some bible verses.

The bible has all answers to the issues of life, as you meditate you are thinking deeply about what God has said to us in the situation we are in.

Biblical meditation is being able to search diligently through the bible. Whereas religious cults teach people to empty their minds as a means of meditation, the bible teaches us to fill our minds with God’s word. Meditation requires a quiet heart and a directed mind. When you mull a word over in your head, pursuing truth in the same way that an inquisitive child’s heart pursues an issue, that is meditation. I will meditate within my heart, and my spirit makes diligent search [Ps 77:6] Kris Vallotton

Meditation is the art of staying, not reading scripture in a rush, but taking time to hear God and connecting your heart to his. Keep reading and repeating the verses to you aloud. Scripture unlike any other affirmative words you may use, it has creative power.

Kindly allow me to use the analogy of a teabag. The more the teabag sits in the hot water, the more the tea becomes strong. For tea lovers like myself, even when you are brewing tea you don’t do it hurriedly, you allow it sit on some low heat, and the results are, sweet tea!

With meditation, it is never about arriving but remaining. David said in psalms 1:2 blessed is the one who does not walk in the step of the wicked or stand in the company of mockers, 2 … but whose delight is in law of the lord and who meditates in the law of the day and night.  Ps 119:35 … the entrance of your word brings light. As you meditate on his word, he sheds light and understanding in the areas of struggle in your life.

To be spiritually minded is peace. What does an anxious person need more than peace?

Try this out

If you are trusting God for peace, look for a verse that speaks on peace, write on some sticky notes and stick them strategically in the house dress mirror, fridge, sink, so that as you pass you see the verse read it out loud. As you walk go speaking the verse to yourself stick it on the dashboard. It can never be the same again with you!!

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MENTAL WELLNESS

As I am writing on this topic, I am wishing it was an interview with quite a big audience so I would have an understanding of mental wellness or rather mental health from each persons of view without making references.

It is a topic in my opinion that is surrounded by so many misconceptions and stereotypes.

Allow me make a definition of mental wellness with quite a number of words. Being mentally well for me is when I have the ability to learn, feel, express  and  manage a series of positive and negative emotions. My ability to form and maintain good relationship with others. My ability to maintain my cool even when everything around me is saying I should be worked up.

This said, I believe we can all agree that mental wellness includes our emotional, psychological and our social wellbeing.

I can see you are already checking yourself, do you consider yourself stable? Are you confident of the decision you are making? Are you able to manage stress? I should have started with, are you able to identify your stressors? By your stressors I don’t mean people, but situations and circumstances too.

For starters, we can start by answering this question, how can one boost their mental wellness? The only thing I am doing for myself is, avoid negativity like a plague. On my last 2 blogs I talked on offence. Often times, and especially in this social media days when people are rarely themselves; and people are having ideas and ways of how they want the public to perceive them, and the approval we want from others, when this doesn’t happen as we expected, it starts affecting us, our self- confidence, our self-esteem starts wearing off, if you don’t have the stomach to stand the negativity social media can bring, please see how we can avoid it. This is not entirely limited to social media, there are friends that are so negative, and they will always see something negative in your life. Be it your dressing or hair do, or even opinions, they will always run down you suggestions and opinions. Anyone of negative vibes, kindly keep off! Please look for something or someone who can keep you smiling.

Keep family close, they are the one people who wish the best for you and love you genuinely. It might not be true for everyone, but one thing that is for sure is, there is that one person whose company does you well. Invest in relationships that builds you.

Meanwhile here is something I saw and I think I should share with you otherwise a joke wouldn’t be a joke without someone to joke without someone to share and laugh with.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat; and  you tell me to exercise! I don’t think so…

Kindly watch out for the next post, this is just a piece from a series of several of them that are coming up next.

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Run from offense, it is a bait!

I was around 19 years. A couple who were good friends of mine and mentors, people who we were doing ministry; missions, crusades and weekend challenges were planning their wedding.

I gave myself fully to their wedding preparations. Looking back, the kilometers I would walk in a day were crazy, today however much I wanted I wouldn’t make to walk such distances. One evening when I was back home from running some errands for them, I remember mum sitting me down, and this is what she said to me, ‘Em, as you do all this, do it as though you are doing it for God, expecting nothing in return.’ She continued to say, ‘I would not be surprised if the day of your wedding they are not able to support you.’ I really couldn’t understand how, at that time but I chose to believe her. I respect her wisdom and the grace of God upon her life. Live long mum!

Needless to say, these words mum spoke have lived to manifest in my life each and every time. Of course in the day of my wedding, this couple was nowhere.

The early years of my youth were spent in the church. We were either doing missions, weekend challenges, service in the church, sanctuary keeping and so much more even as I was running my small computer business in a room the church had given me.

Whenever there was a function in the church, I would be left back to clean up. We would do wedding parties, pre-weddings in the church hall and I would be sure to remain behind to make sure the couple would not worry about who would wash the utensils and do clean-up. Shock on me, the day of my pre-wedding, I cleaned up everything all by myself. Where were all the people I had helped? As I do this write-up, it’s not from a place of bitterness or pain.

I want to encourage a person seated somewhere feeling rejected or like they don’t belong or even not loved. Let me warn you against offence. Offense is a bait; all it does is it steals your opportunity for God to intervene for you. The most human thing I would have thought of doing is probably leave the church because probably it wasn’t loving enough bla bla…

Allow me share a testimony of what God did for us even as we were preparing for the wedding. one evening as we were going about our computer business, a teacher who was a friend and one of our customers, came to check the progress of some work we were doing for her. So this time she came with her friend, and then she did the introductions and mentioned to the friend that we were preparing for our wedding later in the year. When she heard the name of my fiancé’s dad, she was very excited. She exclaimed, ‘finally I get a place to pay back a kindness that man showed us on our wedding day’. She started narrating how he had helped them on their wedding day. Long story short, the vehicle that carried me on my wedding day was hers, it was the latest model in town, driven by a provincial commissioner who was her husband. See what God does. People we have never met, people we didn’t know. As though that was not enough, every person I approached to give me their vehicle for the wedding, gave me for free, no charges, not even fueling. A mum from church, took my wedding like her own daughter’s wedding and took up all the issues that were giving me challenges.

Truths about offense

1. Offense will make you unable to function properly in your calling because of the wounds and the hurt it causes.

2. Only those care about can hurt you. You expect more from them because after all you’ve done so much for them. The closer the relationship the more severe the Offense. See what David says in Psalms 55:12-14

3. The higher the expectations, the higher the Offense.

4. When someone is offended, they believe they are right and the other person is wrong.

There are two categories:

a) Those who have been treated unjustly

b) Those who believe they have been treated unjustly. To be continued…

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The Desire for Validation

If someone tells you that was a wonderful presentation; or that sermon was powerful, what does it make you feel? Does it make you feel good and your self-worth goes a notch higher? This has left me wondering if self-doubt has become the norm. Right?

This is the one thing that I have struggled with. At some point I am left wondering if I also have problems believing what the word of God says about me.

One time I post something in social media and it has 300 likes and 200 comments. At times I would go through all the likes to see who liked my posts and who commented and what they think of my posts. As though that ain’t enough, I would take offense if a person whom I follow and like each and every post or comment on every post they make do not likewise reciprocate or rather they have never caught an eye on anything I post, even if it was just a photo of myself.

How about those posts I read and are powerful; but simply because these people will never like my comments; I don’t want to leave a comment or like on their posts? Does that make me a jerk or is it Wisdom?? Stop looking at me like that 🙂   These things happen.

How about our choice of clothing; we choose carefully what we wear when and where because; in my opinion we wear for others and not necessarily for ourselves. When you leave the house very smart, in your best, the confidence levels are high that day. How about when you can’t wait to get to work because you are expecting we be all over you claiming how good you look. Supposing no one says about your dressing, it is downright depressing, right?

Have you ever posted a pic for the love of photos like me and this seems to be that “kodak moment” and then someone posts one of those comments that leaves you wondering how on earth can a person be so unkind and unreasonable??

Are you one of the people that are always there for their friends? Anytime they need you, you are responding to all their texts? Are you the one who always calls and you are never called? At times you will even leave missed calls and people won’t call you back. Have you at some point asked yourself how is it that people are too busy for you; or is it you who is too idle or too available?

How does all this make you feel? It could bruise your ego, lower your confidence levels. At times it could even crash your self-esteem. Just wondering does all this change what God thinks of you? Does this change what the bible says about you?

I have been in all these situations. People have had so many misconceptions of me, to some I am unapproachable, to others, I am proud, to others still, I am judgmental, bla. At some point I didn’t believe in me either. Child of God, I have been speaking to me over sometime and I am getting better and I hope this helps you too.

MY COUNSEL

  • Stop seeking validation from people.
  • If you do not respect yourself, no one will.
  • If you don’t love yourself, no one will.
  • John 10:35- The word of God cannot be broken. What the word of God says about you shall never be change only if you believe.
  • Job 22:28- You shall decree a thing and it shall be established for you; and the light shall shine upon your ways. Keep declaring the word of God upon your life and it shall be established for you.
  • Stop trying to be what you are not. Because you are better than that. You are unique, a loyal priesthood. Please be you, no one can be what you are.
  • You are God’s own workmanship. Stop letting yourself down.
  • By the time I am posting a pic or a write up like this, I am always anticipating all types of feedback, criticism because I know there’s someone who will never see any good in me and I have made peace with this fact.
  • I have also learnt to compete only with myself because there will always be people who are better than me and this does not intimidate me at all.
  • Child of God, focus on the purpose of God for you.

I can only pray that the grace of God be sufficient for you.

Lots of love from me to you. Shalom!

“La Poete” (The Poet)

Is serving in church a sacrifice you do or is it a privilege? During the dating period for believers, it’s advisable that you do it in public. Meet up in public places; if possible, go out as a group or probably with other couples who are dating too, or even some young married couples who are your friends. For me this is so key, specifically because you are able to know how your girl/guy carries himself out in public or among your friends.

My IT guy and I had just the very perfect setup while dating. There are moments that have never skipped my mind almost twenty years down the line. Yeah you heard it right, I know you can’t wait. This juicy tidbit of info, pwaaaah… Anyway, our church used to hold annual conferences every September and this was one of those Septembers, we were yearning, the hustle and bustle that entailed preparations for this big occasion. The church is set. We were hosting a man of God from Tanzania. Apostle Dunstan Maboya, A mighty man of God, well loved by so many, hence there was an over flow of attendance.

My guy being a tech guy, was shooting videos throughout the sessions and assisting with sound. I am yet to see that kind of craving for the word and the move of God. The meetings had been planned in a way that we would have like four sessions with a tea break, lunch break and a few other breaks in between. Surprisingly enough people would refuse to go for breaks; the man of God would plead with the congregants. “Go for lunch, go for break” but these pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears. Actually the evening meetings that were planned to go latest to 9 pm, would extend all the way into the early hours of the next day and everyone would still be full of energy, only when the man of God flat out decided that the session had to come to an end would the congregants leave and remember all this time there are people standing outside along the corridors and outside the windows because we couldn’t get enough space for more seats. Where am I headed with all this?

My guy is shooting all these sessions without breaks. The few hours he would have past midnight after the meetings, were not for rest but to go copy the videos into computers and burn CDS for the people during the meetings the following day. I remember around the fifth day; it had rained heavily. Everyone was so exhausted, the logistics and the up and downs had taken a toll on us. Have you heard the spirit is willing but the bodies were so worn out? Guess what happened,  my guy slipped and fell in a trench on his way home. Did you know you can fall asleep in a trench full of water and you are only intoxicated with fatigue? Yeah! Everyone is calling him, because he isn’t home, all of us are in panic. Long story short, in the morning, the white jeans is now brown ;-). By the way we didn’t serve for allowances. We were not on a pay roll.

We went for so many missions together, but there’s another instance that stood out then. I wouldn’t describe what it made me feel then, at least not in writing. Unfortunately, I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Probably it hurt because I was in love, giddily so. So, we go for a weekend challenge in one of our girls’ secondary school. The school was located around six kilometers off the tarmac and the road leading to school is a weather road, the kind that “sende” worked well without you intending to engage in such sport.

We had such a powerful Saturday night meeting but unfortunately our amplifier blew up, a with a haphazard and erratically bellowing smoke the amplifier ended its service. How could we hold a Sunday service without good public address system considering Sunday would be the climax? You know there is something about good sound, which just puts you in the mood, a little waltz and dance here and there. So, we are done with our late supper and poof, an announcement comes from our youth pastor, who was in charge of the missions, the kind that does not allow airing of objections or opinion. This is the kind of announcement that would surely make sure that I didn’t sleep well that night. Actually, the one who was being addressed didn’t feel anything, but I felt really hurt. The girl was in love! ‘Tomorrow morning, So and so will be leaving early so as to get to main church before the service starts there and bring an amplifier and be back in good time for us to start the service here.

It’s not the responsibility given that hurt me. I am not unfair; I didn’t expect the pastor would leave us to go bring the amplifier. You remember the distance from the school to the tarmac? This guy was to walk all the way. As though that’s not enough, he would walk back with the amplifier on the shoulder, a very muddy stretch, with threats of rainfall any time not mentioning “Sende” a sport that could end up in a tangle for dear life. This stuck with me for such a long time.

You said he got born again to win me? I don’t think so. These earned this guy all the bonga points, or are they loyalty points that he needed to have me for a wife. Do you know what these experiences made me feel? This guy loved God, this guy was submissive enough, and it made me think he didn’t get born again for me. His passion, girl was I mesmerized! Hulala! This though wasn’t all that won my heart. This guy is a poet. I love poetry, I love words said from a heart that is in love. “Mi Amor” stuff.

HIS STORY

It is in the cool Mountain View slopes of Chogoria, the hens and their chicks are squabbling over an earthworm, the dogs are here and there barking and making a spectacle even as the children chase them up and about. The young man is just bored, sitting with a bowl of Githeri, wondering at just how green the Githeri looks, mmh seems the avocado that has been well mashed into the Githeri is giving the food a lavish green look… yummy. Mellow rhythms with Roland Karu in the background; just seem to resonate well with the young man. Seems everything is slow. Flash backward. The young man was freshly out of Nairobi due to hunger. A story for another day. He was roughed up by life and had come home to rebuild and recollect. Little did the young man know, is life in just a few years would change into a really blessed one.

Fast forward, the young man is into computer repair and is of firm believe, that a customer base that is satisfied is enough advertisement. Because of this, one customer led to the other and then boom! Here I am face to face with a lady I had admired for a long while. A lady of great Nyadhi as I was soon to know. She was greatly feared among us who were of the opposite sex and of course worldly in our ways.

Don’t Mistake me  I was a church boy before I got wayward. I have always been interested in church, I remember in one of my foolish declarations of love saying if you and I are separated I will become a pastor. God forgive my foolishness those days. All in the name of infatuation. We always lived for the emotion, that feverish feeling that would leave one lightheaded and making impossible claims. I will swim in a crocodile infested river for you… kind of declarations. Anyways, so her computer is misbehaving. And as she explains what the problem is, I can’t help but marvel at the eloquence of speech and the confidence exuding from this short lady and one that had managed to inspire awe among my peers.

My dream and finally come true, I always had wanted to hear her speak and was curious about what made her so feared. As we talked, I realized that she was the friendliest person I have ever met and blundering in my train of thought I simply blurted it out. Tell me “Why are you so greatly feared?” Immediately I asked I realized just how foolish I sounded. She has that easy laugh that was infectious in its wake, COVID19 of the day I would say. She says to me one of the most interesting statement of the day for me “How can day and night mix” and for some reason it seemed to explain everything to me.

At that time, I had a hunger for reading and I remember one day, she asked me, since you are a computer guy and know the GIGO and FIFO rule, how does that apply to what you read? I was stunned. I loved to read but never really thought about it much on how what I read impacted my life. For those of us not familiar with the terminologies of GIGO and FIFO they mean Garbage In, Garbage Out and First in First Out respectively. She taught me many things in those days. I enjoyed her company and especially when we discussed on issues with her great friend Karimi.

I have always enjoyed a good debate and sometimes that would put me in serious trouble with the two. That 😉 is a story for another day. Fast forward, The Ex is now wondering what we are doing together and making a show of it, I am actually flattered and annoyed at the same time. Dad always used to say, it takes two to argue and as the English say to tangle. I am now looking deeply into my life. Ooo, the boy got born again in the process of debates and discussions. He is in this mess after embracing God. The situation is now leaving a bitter feeling in the mouth. He expected to be welcomed in the fold as part of a big Christian family. Serious lessons were being taught by people He looked up to.

Back to present, the boy is now looking deeply to analyze why He is raising eyebrows, In the process of analyzing, a stunning revelation comes to light. The young man is in love. This only seems to add to the weight of the accusations raised. Though not guilty, in the eyes of the young man that love seemed to render weight to them. I have realized since then that how you feel is not the problem but what you do with what you feel. Some young men today will want to quench and sate those feelings, but am reminded in the face of weakness, the bible says let the weak say I am strong.

After setting a meeting date with myself and I, minutes were drawn and a conclusion made. Declare your feelings, and whether or not your proposal is accepted move on and by the grace of God become everything you’re expected to be. That said, the young man went ahead and made a proposal, and afraid that the proposal would be declined, the intestines seemed to be warped in a painful knot. it’s an evening, closing up the business and we are heading home. He stops the girl mid step and just pops the statement and question that has many holding their breath for an answer at least once in their lifetimes… “I love you and would you be my girlfriend in a relationship that will lead to marriage?”

I had chosen my words carefully and felt confident that I was ready to go the whole mile. The answer I got shocked me and I almost fell in disbelief, I guess I was pretty confident that the feelings were mutual. I guess a No was not the answer I was expecting; I was reeling and staggering in the spirit. I couldn’t speak for a while. I asked why not after a while. She gave me her reasons and they felt valid and justified even though unfair. The man in me felt bested and I knew she could see it in my face. I tried to be a gentleman about by saying “It is well”. It was disconcerting and a quiet disquiet overcame me. Out of the blues I tell her well, I think I need to go back to school. If you need me call me.

I left and went back to college, in college I would keep looking at my phone, wishing she would call and when she did, I would be left angry that she called. I couldn’t understand myself. After a few months in school, I call and apologize and let her know that I had finally come to terms with her decision and would try to be a good friend and brother even if I died in the effort. I knew it would be uphill for me since I had completely lost my heart to her, I was willing to settle for a friend, and knew I would be happy only when She was. Moreover, I knew that if I did something to hurt her, it would hurt me and hurt many times over. I realized just how much so, after she said No. For the first semester all we did is talk about school, church, the business and our friends. The issue that had led to me being in school was never discussed.

One day I am doing my morning class and she calls. I excused myself. Her calls always seemed to brighten my world and when she didn’t call, I felt gloomy and alone. So, she calls and out I go to answer the call in the middle of a lesson. On answering only two words ring and vibrate in my ears, “I accept” Can I dare hope against hope? Am confused and elated at the same, I ask what do you mean? She says I love you too and I accept your proposal. Instead of going back to class I go out of the school gate and to the Roysambu stage and board a Meru bound matatu. The mart seemed to travel at a tortoise speed. At last, in the late afternoon I get to Chogoria, sweet home. I don’t go home but straight to her house and there I decree my never unending love…. But that is my story, this is my counsel: –

– Don’t go looking for poets; it’s not enough to make a husband.

– If your mate loves God more than he/she loves you, even in time of crisis he/she will always have a good point of reference.

– It’s good if you can do together. My IT guy will not go jogging with me and I have made peace with that, but we can write and many other stuffs too.

THE SPUR

You remember my new guy? we are finally in the system; weekend challenges, youth missions, crusades during Christmas…

My ex too has moved on, he finally gets married and like a good friend should do, I attended their wedding. I have never known why it looked strange because the stares I got told me clearly no one expected I would attend.

When I call my fiancé now an IT guy, you are probably thinking I left the other guy for a better paid jamaa. This guy had just finished college, actually he had not graduated. By the way, did he even have a bank account? Probably a Cooperative bank Yeah account for the Helb loans.

All this time I am battling with pain from the previous experiences. One thing I thank God for, I am able to do my thing without necessarily fearing what people will think. We fought so many unnecessary battles because probably not many people and especially those who mattered in church then were in agreement with the decisions I had made. I have known the devil uses those who are closest to you because that hurts more. At some point I paid rent twice because apparently no one could remember me paying. Very weird accusations were made that were meant to push us away.

As I was reading a book ‘the circle maker’, I was reminded of experiences we go through but because of the issues we are facing, we are not able to see God. Could be relationships like I am talking about, or just life.

When Balaam’s donkey stopped and it couldn’t continue, he just struck it because he thought it was just misbehaving. When the donkey speaks all of us are all marveled by the talking donkey; we don’t realize the donkey just rescued Balaam from the angel who wanted to strike him dead.

Most of us if you are just healing from a broken relationship, all you feel is the pain of rejection. All you feel is like walls are caving in on you. Looking at all the pain and confusion I was in then, I don’t regret. Most of the time when we are hurting all we pray is that things can go our way. That your relationship works and have a happy ending, that your business rises up again, but we are blind to what God is protecting us from.

Can I tell you something? If I was married to the first guy, today you would not be reading this. Surely God has it all figured out. A friend read one of the articles and told me, in the counsel you gave you forgot something, and here comes what missed from the previous article.

I heard this before but I never considered it important. From my own experience I know it matters. It’s no wonder someone said experience is not the best teacher, tried experience is. What am sharing, was tested and tried on me.

Take a way, real wisdom: Way before the first relationship broke, the IT guy had just come into the picture and rumors were so hot. I remember this friend and a leader in the church talking to me and he asked me, “Do you think if you decided to go back to school in the future your guy would be supportive?”

He then went on to say, “You may not be planning to back to school, but would he support your dreams? Are you of one mind? Are you like minded?” All along I thought love is all that matters. Today am of a different opinion.

Would you be comfortable showing off your girl/guy to your crew? You had better have a person you want to take nature walks with as you show them off to the birds in the bushes. Where would I be 14 years down the line if this guy didn’t crash into my life!

In the day and time, we are living today, I don’t know how many of us would comfortably take the kind of ride I chose then. However; you are not defined by what you are going through now. Your future is way great! Better days are ahead. We went for our walks as he pushed his bicycle. Today with these lockdowns, the moments I miss most are not those we raced with other cars along the highways, not the evenings we rode on his bike; all I want is for us just to stroll because I want to appreciate every single minute with him. I wouldn’t mind a limo or a Lamborghini aventador ride, but am extremely happy at where we are today.

Cheer up! God knows your end from the beginning.

Guys! Get a girl who can tell you no. Okay, this is true for any relationship. Someone who can challenge your decisions will save you from making a lot of blunders and especially when you are about to make decisions emotionally. A person who is vulnerable to you without feeling ashamed or fearing to be judged. Somebody who is interested in those things you like; including a small thing like a movie. My guy will always watch a movie with me in mind. I like the way he says it; “watch blacklist, money heist, whiskey cavalier…. you will like them.” He knows what I like.

This chick/ dude you will be beside them for the longest part of your life. They had better be interesting!

With all this counsel, remember we said God is the best counsel.

This is my prayer for you.

If you are not married yet and you are trusting God for a life partner, may He order your steps. May He give you all the wisdom you require to know the who is really meant for you.

If you are already married and you feel you goofed big time, I pray that God intervenes in your situation and help you realign your marriage. He is interested in your peace and happiness for sure. Marriage was His idea and He want nothing but the best for you.

James 1:5 tells us that if you ask for wisdom, God will give it generously without finding fault: “If any of you lacks wisdomhe should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” …

If you need any type of support; prayer, counsel… don’t hesitate to reach out.

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MY DIARIES

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Just like that, we done with high school. I wouldn’t say I don’t miss the feeling of being a citizen, you have your ID, no bells, bla bla. However, there are experiences I remember and I just get exhausted. I wonder where I got all the strength. Keeping my faith through high school for me was such a big deal. I am grateful to God I pulled through. I am finally a citizen and I have joined a team of youth and every weekend we were up and about preaching; weekend challenges, door to door evangelism, crusades.

“SOUL WINNING”

I will call it a fateful Sunday evening. I am back from some crusade and on getting home, I am told my Christian union patron from high school had just left. He had come looking for me because of a nice opportunity that had come up. Remember this is a person who didn’t come from my neighborhood so for me twas a great deal.

I couldn’t wait for the following day so I could go look for him. The night was long, nothing I deed would shorten the hours. It’s morning finally and off I went to go hear of the great news. Could I hide the excitement from my face? How about feeling special that of all those we had completed school with he just came for me.

A couple that came preaching during our weekend challenges at school had requested that they would be sent her girl who they would mentor on discipleship and missions. What more would a 18 years girl so passionate about the gospel of Jesus Christ ask for. This was the sweetest piece of news ever.

Beloveth, that’s how I became a house help for 3 months. Actually I was so kind to allow them enough time to look for another girl. There is nothing wrong about being a house help! However, someone should have been sincere enough to tell me what they wanted.

We lived in a very posh neighborhood though and this village girl liked everything there. One Saturday morning my employer, for lack of a better name, brings me a dress, sweater and a boob top. I was so excited, I thought they were gifts; I remember saying to myself, its not so bad after all. Little did I know they would be deducted generously from my 3k salary! I however took my lesson, God knew one day I would be an employer. I now know better!

Just like that, the three months notice was done and I am back at the village. Atleast I had gained some experience in cooking and taking care of the little ones. How about travelling to and fro Nairobi alone for the first time. That was an accomplishment.

The little naïve girl’s come back had really ruffled very many feathers and she didn’t even know. Definitely having been to the city for a few days brought with it some improvement in grooming. It didn’t occur to me the special treatment i received was not just because the brothers were good gentlemen😉

Several issues came up, I finally found myself in a 5 years long relationship that I don’t remember someone proposing. For fear of hurting people or what will people, or the church say, I wasted myself big time. Hey girlie, arise! You had better know what you want with yourself, please say no and continue like nothing happened. Dah!

As I write this now, I am happily married for 14 years to a guy that God had preserved for me. He came from nowhere (story for another day). I definitely am not hurting from things that happened when I was 23. I am writing this for you who is feeling confused by all baggage that life has heaped on you.

Looking back, I understand predestination! All I can say is imela papa!

Arise! Shake it off! God has you!