HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Remember we promised this topic would continue? Apart from offense being a bait like we said earlier, let’s see how else we can define it.
Offense is when people are not polite with others and they fail to show regard to others hence wounding other people’s feelings.
Someone could be asking, why take time to discuss offense? One of the reasons is, Jesus said, “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble!!” Offense is part of this trouble! Secondly, in this day and time, people are committing suicide, murders, suffering in low self-image, and low self-esteem because of offense.
Most of the times we don’t offend people deliberately, some of the things you say meaning well but the person you are saying to takes offense.
Of great worth to note is, you can be offensive simply by what you are trying to be and not the things you are doing or things you are saying.
Here are some of the possible areas we can offend people and possible ways of avoiding offense where possible.
- One area we can offend people is by offering unsolicited advices. e.g a girl’s face is having acne and there you go asking what they have applied and start making suggestions of things they should do.
- When you interrupt or intrude other people’s conversations
- When we presume about what other people like or don’t like.
- When you choose to act like your time and your needs are more important than others.
- Don’t criticize things that you have not even familiarized with beforehand.
- Treat everyone’s opinion as something valuable
- Avoid over stepping. Know your boundaries and keep them.
- Avoid things that hurt other people’s dignity. It’s not just about respect but this also includes someone’s privacy, everything related to someone’s self-worth.
- Making degrading comments about any features that are tied to a person’s identity or being e.g. calling someone fat
- Ignoring people, making them feel like they are less important.
- Calling someone by the wrong name or mispronounce, misspell their names.
This list can go on and on. From all this it would be true to say, you will offend or be offended in one way or the other. There are people who feel victimized all their lives. Others get offended by almost everything because they take everything to themselves.
It can be so exhausting if you try to please everyone. Please stop trying too hard to fit in. you won’t be able to. There will always be something about you that people don’t like. When you are slender you are called a grasshopper, if you gain some weight, you are called a hippo, and please be you. Be unbothered, be yourself, the world will acclimatize!
There is a story said of a plum.
A plum once said, ‘just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said he I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search for grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I know no more who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and wait for a plum lover. (#borrowed)
Allow me to remind you that you are unprecedented, so unique kindly enjoy being you.
Please don’t rid your originality so that you can be noticed or so you can avoid offending people. As days get by you will regret you traded your distinctiveness for a moment of fame or endorsement.
There is a platform for each one of us to shine. Please find yours!